Its A New World

Octopuses are very intelligent. They are solitary, noble creatures. curious and amazing escape artists. Bees can be taught to sniff out cancer. Dogs can recognize the signs of an impending seizure and alert their owner. Trees raise and lower their branches and communicate with other trees through underground fungi, sharing nutrients and water.

We experience our world through our 5 senses. There are light wave lengths, sound frequencies, and who knows what else, that our senses cannot perceive. . There are creatures in nature that experience the world in a way we cannot even imagine. Knowing that fact, appreciating the amazing variety of life on our planet is an enriching experience.

So what am I after here? We exist in a world we do not really know. As our technology and sciences progress, we start to see what we don’t know, as much as what we do know. We are limited creatures. Science tells me that I am made up of more empty space than atoms. What appears solid, is not. The reality I perceive may or may not (probably not ) be the same as you perceive. I create my own reality based on my beliefs, my senses, my experiences and my thoughts. These make up the filter that impacts my reality.

Our brain is amazing. It is also limited. I am not talking about intelligence here, I am acknowledging the fact that when faced with a novel situation, a totally new experience, our brain defaults to what it already knows from previous experiences. I like the example of the superman scenario; “Its a bird, its a plane, No! Its superman!! I see something flying high in the sky. Brain says, ok flying, small, must be a bird! The person next to me says “its a plane, flying, really high, only planes go that high, its a plane. Another astute observer takes a few more seconds to take in new information, “It is flying, really high, I believe I see arms,, a head, legs and maybe a cape? Not a bird, not a plane; its a man, a super flying man!” We all see the world based on our own experiences until we make room for new possibilities.

Like trees raising and lowering their branches, octopuses with complex problem solving skills, crows using tools to get food. Even a person, very different from me, having the same feelings, the same needs, the same goals as me. We are more alike than different. Sometimes, to see what is right in front of our face, we have to put down our filter and stretch our perceived reality.

A little something to stretch your perceptions:

More to come…

As the World Turns

I am excited to return to my office and start seeing clients face to face! New location; 152 Magnolia St in wonderful Downtown Spartanburg. New paint, new furniture, new view! There is a parking garage right across the street if you cannot find street parking. at a very reasonable cost, 50 cents per hour..

More to come…

With a Little Help from My Friends

So do you think you could do it? A whole day without social media? No Facebook, no Reddit, Twitter, Instagram? Just one day, to prove you are not addicted, to prove you are engaged with real life, present in the moment. Interacting with what is right in front of you. Can I? Shall we pick a date and try?

I watched a documentary called “The Social Dilemma” on Netflix. Talk about food for thought. I would like for you to watch it. Tell me what you think. Tell me what you notice personally as you take a day off from your online life. I will share mine if you will share yours.

Connection, interaction, we crave it, we are hardwired to seek it out. In the time of Covid-19, how do we do that without social media? Can we? I believe so. Phone calls, letters (does anyone write any more), Even Zoom to talk face to face.

Shall we set two challenges? A day without social media and a letter writing challenge? Not an email, a handwritten letter, snail mailed to the recipient. Give it a try. Then see how it makes you feel.

I dare you!

My previous post and a session with one of my clients got me thinking about feelings. My client had a really rough week, not due to any fault of their own. They were left with feelings of hopelessness, sadness and just not sure their life had a purpose. Difficult, overwhelming feelings. Many people have these feelings at one time in their life. During the session they described what actions they took, despite the feelings. They talked to a close friend, used comfort techniques, reached out for love and assurance. So, despite feeling totally overwhelmed and hopeless, they moved forward taking actions that could help them get to the other side of the experience.

I remind myself and others, feeling are neither good nor bad, they just are. Life is rich with feelings and experiences. To be human is to feel emotions, even the ones that are crappy.

To live a rich life, all emotions are allowed, hopelessness, joy, anger, contentment, fear and certainly, love. It is what actions are taken when we are moving through the kaleidoscope that is our life that make all the difference. Take actions that keep the emotions moving along, while reminding yourself and others that nothing remains the same, change is the only constant. And when joy and love show up, soak up all that wonderful energy and treasure the moment.

Have a very lovely day!\

How to Create a Lovely Day

I do not even know where to start. Pandemic, protests, election, recession/ depression. All over the top to think about. All creating anxiety and fear, maybe even anger. So I look at the emotions, rather than the circumstances. No matter where you stand on any of those events, many of the emotions are the same for everyone, and they can be overwhelming.

I find myself “doom scrolling”, in the morning, afternoon and at night before bed. Bad news sells, catastrophes sell more. Let’s remember the networks all want to make money, to do that they need viewer’s attention, so they can sell commercial air time. Secondary to that is keeping the public informed. I am not suggesting that networks make up news, I am suggesting that they lead with the most negative information first and foremost.

Maybe I feed my brain the worst of the worst that supports my point of view. Maybe I want to see what others have it worse than I do, so I feel a tiny bit safer in my own bubble. That is what those types of news stories do. They frighten, isolate and drive additional negative thoughts and feelings. Ugh. I do not like to be anxious, fearful, hopeless.

So what other option is there? Stick my head in the ground like an ostrich? “If I don’t see it, it is not happening.” How about letting anger take over? “Everyone else is stupid, idiots, crazy,, needs to get their heads out of their ass”. Two very common choices to cope with everything that is at stake right now. Easy to find others who are doing the same and follow them, the fear and anger are contagious.

So really, what is the alternative? Stop the doom scrolling. Stop creating those negative pathways in the brain that become the default setting. Make a conscious effort to seek out the positives, push connection with others in healthy ways. Seek out common ground and build empathy. Mr Rogers said in difficult times, look for the helpers. They are there. The ones that put aside differences, anger and confusion. They focus on the commonality of being human, of the need to be connected and take action based on making a positive difference.

So simply put, seek out the positives, take small healthy steps which lead to moments of contentment and happiness. Set intentions for the day. Zoom with friends and family. Decrease the amount of negative material feeding the brain. Smile! Laugh! Watch a funny movie. Plant a garden, buy a houseplant, adopt a pet. And then, when I have to, go ahead and cry.

Here is to small, frequent moments of contentment and joy. Seek them out and feed your soul.

hhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7s6VbOEnsgk

Thoughts

I hope this post finds all safe and well. I also hope everyone is staying home, washing their hands and staying focused on remaining healthy. It is an amazing time in history. This is an event with a definite before and after, similar to 9/11, a defining moment in history. The effects are world wide and at the same time, very personal. I believe before humans get control of this virus we will all have a very personal experience with it's impact. Frankly that scares me to my core, translation, it scares the shit out of me.
So what can I do, what can we do, to make it through this epic experience safely and sanely? Breath. Meditate. Walk. Wash our hands. Pray, create positive energy. Love one another, even from a distance. Support and take care of the healthcare workers on the front lines, the grocery, amazon, UPS, USPS workers.
Stay home. STAY. HOME. That is love and support in action. That is loving your neighbor as yourself. That is protecting everyone's children, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters.
Stay home. Breath. Love.

A New View

I could write about how surreal and frightening this pandemic is for so many individuals, including me. I could list all the warnings and recommended protocols to keep everyone safe and healthy. I could do all those things, as so many others have, and rightfully so.

Instead I would like to try something different. I am asking myself to approach this experience not with fear, but with curiosity. What can I learn; About myself, about others, through words, actions and deeds. I do not intend to judge, only to understand.

When our brain is faced with an experience totally new, completely novel in our existence, it reaches back to previous memories which are similar, and then, presents those memories as our template to understand the present moment. It is like hearing a word in a foreign language and thinking, “well that sounds like.this word, so it must mean somewhat the same thing”. But in the case of this pandemic, there is no template that matches the situation. So the brain does the best it can.

This may explain why people are reacting so differently from one another. Some recognise the danger, (reminds me of the robot in “Lost in Space”. ‘Danger, Danger Will Robinson’!!.”}. Others view the government stepping in and dictating what they can or cannot do, so, they rebel as if the government was an overly strict parent or bossy sibling. Everyone’s world filter is different, our views all unique.

The point is, to me, that we are all in this together. Literally All of Us, the entire World. It highlights the connectedness of all people. If there is a macro lesson to be learned here and now, it is this; We are all connected. The impact of Individual actions go far and beyond each individual person. What helps one, helps all. What harms one, hurts all.

There is immense power in the choice of the individual. In this day and time, literally the power of life and death. Life is a series of choices. Moment by moment we effect our path, and the paths of others by our choices.

I challenge each of us, connected as we are, to carefully consider our choices and the power they hold. Choose carefully and wisely.