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Don’t tell me who you voted for,
Tell me who You are.
Don’t make lists of who you hate,
Write those you love.
Do not spin tales of what you fear,
Tell me stories of when you were brave.
Show me the heart of you,
I will share the same.
Then maybe we will build a bridge,
Between the two of us,
Which others will be free to cross.
Day to day, week to week, do you walk through your life on auto-pilot? The world around you just happens, and you float along with it? One could live their entire life this way. So how does that make you feel? Powerless?, at the mercy of other peoples needs and actions? Maybe you are just sleepwalking through your days. I have been there. So how do you and I become creators of our own lives?
Mindfulness. I am sure you have heard the word. It is in the news, there are books, videos and classes on mindfulness. So what is so great about it? It is the first step towards becoming the creator of your own path in life.
So let's start by taking a look at what mindfulness is. There are two parts to the act of being mindful. First, bring all your awareness into the present moment. All your senses, sight, sounds, sensations, everything. That includes your thoughts and feelings too. Being aware in the moment. The next part is a bit harder, do not judge what you are feeling or thinking. Just be present in the moment. Be aware of your own presence in the world.
Then what?....Stay tuned.
So let's start simply. Intentions. What you ask for is what you get. Have you ever woken up in the morning and thought, "what do I want to see in this day"? I know what my morning habit is. I have a strong tendency to grab my phone and check the weather, then the news, and don't you know most of the news is negative. That is what sells, correct? The news outlets are not in the business of setting up a positive expectation for my day. Do I really need to list the ways we are setup to expect the negative throughout our day? I didn't think so.
So before I reach for that phone. I pause. I engage my brain and ask myself, what do I want to see in my day? Let's see, happiness, love, compassion, money. Remember, what you ask for is what you get.
So what is this, magic? Stay tuned...
New Year, New You...we have all heard it before, correct? I can see you shaking your head as you read. Like you, I have heard it all before, many times in many disguises. How about we make it simple? Change your brain., and yes, I did say simple. It is a matter of expectations. You may have heard the phrase, "you get what you ask for". It is true. Basically brain patterns are set up by perceptions. The neurons that fire together, wire together. In other words, if you walk the same way every day, you create a deeper, long lasting path. In the brain, if you think the same thoughts day after day, "I hate my job, life is hard, I will never get ahead, then you connect those neurons associated with those thoughts and the feeling associated with them, and that becomes your brain's default position. So, you do hate your job, you actually do never get ahead and life is hard. You are trained to look for examples of those thoughts and the feelings they evoke each and every day.. The thoughts, those wired, firing neurons, become your reality. Thoughts truly do become things. to quote Mike Dooley, one of my favorite speakers.
Sooo...How do we change things up? Stay tuned...
How do you start your day? The alarm goes off, you open your eyes, shake off the sleepiness and then...Like so many people do you reach for your cell phone? I know I am guilty. I need to check the news, facebook, weather, all before my feet hit the floor. By then I may have allowed what I read or what I saw to set my mood for the morning and often times that means I am not expecting good things to happen.
Lately I have been trying something different. When I wake up, I set my intentions for that day. This is different from setting a schedule or attempting to set a particular emotion. I think and even say my intentions out loud, such as Love, Healing, Contentment. This means during this day I will expect Love, Healing and Contentment to be present in my life in some form. I then look for examples of each as I go about my work and leisure.
I will notice for instance, my dog Luna leaning against my leg, asking for a cuddle. OK, that is Love. Or I catch up with a family member I have not seen in a long time, that is love, and a bit of healing mixed together. You get the picture. Try it, you may really like it.
Anxiety is paralyzing, it takes the focus off the present and places it firmly on the "what ifs", fear and even a sense of hopelessness about the future. Mega downer, huh? What is right in front of our faces, what is happening now is where the richness of life lives. The past only exists in our mind, it can not be changed, though we do have control over how we view our personal history and how much power we give it, but that is another blog for another time. The future is just that, the future, it has not happened yet. That is where anxiety dwells and saps joy.
So back to the present. Right here, right now. Stop, pause, take a deep breath. Now, ask the question, 'how do I feel?' Some possible answers; overwhelmed, agitated, unfocused. drowning, powerless. That is anxiety talking. Worry about the future. Stop, take a breath, really pay attention, feel the air coming in through your nose, feel your chest rise and the sensation of fullness in your lungs, all the way to the bottom of your chest. Pause, count, one...two...three. Now, exhale, slowly, feel the air leaving gently, your chest and your belly falling. Now again, In, Pause, Hold, Out. Again and repeat. Ask that question again, 'how do I feel'? Pay attention to not only the emotions, but the sensations in your body. Tummy agitated, muscles tense, heat pounding? That is ok, it is your body asking for attention. Breath In, pause, hold, out. Notice muscles relaxing, heart slowing, thoughts slowing down.
Now, the big key. Ask yourself another question, really the most important question. Right now in this minute, in this moment, am I ok? Almost always the answer will be yes. Yes, I am safe, yes, I have a roof over my head, yes, I have food, clothing and water. Yes, I have people who care about me. Yes, I have people that love me. Check your senses, what do I hear? What do I smell, what am I touching, what do I see? What is that taste in my mouth! Don't judge, just experience. Colors, sensations, feelings, sounds, tastes, let the present exist. Here, now. This is where the richness of life dwells. This is what is real. Breath, take it in. Love life. Live here, now. You may even wonder what the big brouhaha was to begin with, the future will take care of itself. Make the best of now.